Family & Baby

when you want to be super mom


Like most of you, I want to be supermom. I want to do it all and have it all. But in reality, most days I’m tired, and most days I’m super pumped and proud of myself when I put a bra on.

But I want to be the perfect cook. I want my son to eat healthy. I want to be the perfect educator for him. I want to get straight As in my nursing clinicals. I want a clean house with continuously fresh linens. I want to be able to go out with friends. I want to take care of myself.

I want I want I want. And that’s all great. And that’s OK to want everything, why should we limit ourselves? But sometimes we set this unobtainable goal, and sometimes we have it in our minds that we have to be perfect. But we are perfectly imperfect, and I think if we give it our all, we can find a happy balance. And we will be supermom not because we did it all, but because we gave it our all. Mamas: we work hard and we deserve a happy life. So here’s a few tips to get you started.

  • Balance + prioritize: major key to making this all work and tying everything together. I use a calendar I got from Michael’s and it has done me wonders. Not only does it have absolutely adorable stickers, but it really helps me plan my days and weeks and months. It helps me see the big picture, and to focus on what needs to be done at what times. But most importantly, it gives me the opportunity to push things back whenever I am feeling over loaded or overwhelmed. Every day I write down three important things I want to accomplish for the day and I focus on doing those. That way I feel good about myself, and also I can slowly get important things knocked out each week.
  • Do a little day by day: I spend 20-30 minutes a day cleaning, about 30 minutes a day prepping or cooking food, and the rest goes to Owen and even more feels like it goes to school. I trg to clean when I can. I even clean when I’m showering, I mean it totally works. I have an all natural cleaner that doesn’t need to be rinsed, and it’s safe to use around me so I spray that baby all over the walls and wipe everything down while I’m showering. When you see something that needs to put it away, do it. Don’t set your stuff on the floor when you walk in the door. I forgot where I heard this from, but it’s called the one touch rule. If you set your jacket on the chair, you’ve touched it once. And then let’s say you moved it to the couch, that’s twice. And now you finally hang it up. You’ve just touched that item three times to get it where it needed to be. Everything needs to have a place so you can easily put it away. I balance school work by having a daily routine. Every night I dedicate 4 hours to my studies after I put Owen down to for the night. During the day I try to throw a load of laundry in, and the next day I try (and when I mean try, I really try) to put the clothes away. But I know it’s more important to get my work done before having the perfect house. Priorities. Also, having a glass a wine is up there too.
  • Understand your limits: I think this is extremely important because we tend to push and push until we are burnt out and to the point of exhaustion. If you know when you’re feeling overwhelmed, you’ll be better able to handle stress and health. I can get overwhelmed pretty easily, so I usually know when it’s time to take a step back. Some nights I find myself straying away from studying, playing on my phone. That’s when I know I should just quit for the night. I think when we self assess and really focus on not hitting our max-out point, we can better go through the weeks being a healthier and happy mom. And in return, our children will really benefit from this.
  • Stop multitasking: try to focus on the task at hand instead of doing a million things at once. I use to think it was better to get everything done half-assed than to get the job done really good. But I found that half assed jobs really don’t last, but focusing on one thing at a time really keeps me from having to do it again.
  • Allow yourself to just be: as Buddah has said “what we think, we become”. Focus on present awareness, mediate, exercise, and put your phone away. Focus on just being in the moment. So you have to clean out the fridge? Try to just enjoy it and don’t feel like you belong somewhere else. Stop worrying about the future and focus on what’s going on around you at that moment in that time. Stop outside to smell the flowers and hear the birds chirp. Look around, the world is beautiful. You are not needed anywhere else. You are needed right here right now in this moment. Tune into it. Don’t see life as chore. Don’t plan everything because it’ll never happen. Set obtainable goals for the future and then let it go. If something is bothering you before bed, write it down and let it go. You are needed for sleep, not anywhere else. Do you get what I’m saying here? That you are needed in the present moment. Look up present awareness, it’s one of my most important goals. I want to be able to be in the moment, because right now, it kind of feels like my mind is always somewhere else. What can I do? What should I be doing? Sometimes I am even playing with my son but yet stressing in my head, when can I get a break to finish all that needs to be done? How far off from nap time am I? That sounds horrible, but that is just how my mind works. It’s a wheel spinning round and round and driving me nuts. You are not needed anywhere but right here right now. Keep reminding yourself of this.

I hope some of these tips help you 🙂 I’m not perfect and I’m still working towards a happier + healthier me, but that’s always going to be the case. It’s always been about the journey.

Hang in there mamas!

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Family & Baby

the four people you will meet



There will be four very important people you will meet in your life. But of course, there will be many more important people in your life, but these four in particular will forever change you. They will help you grow, shape you. They will make you stronger. Some will be gentle, some will be harsh. Some will make you feel like you’re worth the world, and some will bring you straight to your knees.

The wrong person at the wrong time

This person will probably be your first boyfriend or girlfriend. It may be something special. No, it probably was something special, just in a different way. Maybe you lost your virginity to this person. Maybe they were your first kiss. (Hopefully in reverse order lolol).  Maybe you even consider this person your first love. But in most cases, that probably won’t be true. This person is the idea of how love is suppose to be. It’s the foundation in which you gain an understanding of what you want out of a relationship, what you need, and most certainly what you do not want or need. This is a big chapter in your life. This person will teach you a lot about yourself, your likes and dislikes, what is an absolute deal-breaker, and what are some qualities you want in a future relationship. But mostly you’ll have fun and a ton of butterflies with this person. This person will get to explore things with you and share such a fragile part of your brain and heart. Ultimately, you’ll understand that this person isn’t right for you. It was simply love in passing. It was a summer of romance. Or maybe even a long relationship full of firsts. You are no where near ready to settle down, and of course you still ask yourself, “what else is out there? Who else is out there?”. Say thanks for the memories to your first and move on.

The right person at the wrong time

This is next step in your journey of finding love and happiness. This person is probably someone you’ll never forget. The person you will have the most fun with and the person with whom you will completely and fully open your heart and soul to. This is the person who will help you grasp who you truly are. Come face to face with your devils and ride a crazy roller coaster with you while trying to figure it all out. You’ll wear your heart on your sleeve and you’ll be closer than ever. This is the person who you wish you could spend your life with, but there is only one thing truly standing in the way: timing. Timing is such a pain in the ass. So you may have to move forward without this one. You haven’t explored everything yet, the world, the sights, the people, and you simply cannot give everything to someone until you’re ready to give everything to yourself. And you still haven’t found yourself yet. Not quite.. This ‘right person at the wrong time‘ has everything you need, but sadly, for whatever reason it may be, it won’t work out. You’ll grow and learn from this person forever. You’ll never forget this person, and you will learn more from this person than you can imagine. This person is crucial. This person feels like home.

The wrong person at the right time

This phase has got to be the hardest phase to go through. You’ve discovered yourself. You feel so good about yourself, and you’re finally ready to take the plunge and dive into marriage and kids. Everything is right. You feel it. But what you also feel is that this person isn’t the one. You can feel it all over. You cannot deny it, but you try to, because everything is all right, so obviously you think, why can’t this person be right? Because it wasn’t meant to be. This one is a tough one. Oh man, will you learn. And it’ll hurt too, but you’re going to be so much stronger. I promise. You’ll learn mostly how much strength it takes to walk away from something or someone you know isn’t right for you. You’ll learn about the courage it takes to be honest with yourself. And you’ll learn that there are painful endings. And that sometimes, no matter how hard you try to hang on for dear life, you will get thrown from it. With blisters on your hands and scrapes on your knees, you’ll get back up again. For the last time.

The right person at the right time

At last. This is pure gold. This is the person you’ll spend your life with. You may even skip all of the above steps and find this person early in life. This is when it feels like the stars have aligned. Everything is right. Everything feels right. You can feel it in your bones. In the pit of your stomach and in your core. Or maybe it’s just a simple, when you know, you know. Maybe this person is even the one that was right at the wrong time. Maybe you’ve grown and figured things out that you weren’t able to before. Maybe you were able to reconnect and be stronger than ever. This phase of your life makes you feel complete. You feel happy and complete even without this person, but this person makes waking up feel like you’re the luckiest person alive.  Everyone deserves to find this person. This person will teach you the most important things about yourself. They will fill in all the missing pieces that were left over from the others. They will patch up the holes in your heart from all of the stabs it took along the way. I hope every single one of you find this person. I hope you never settle for anything less, and I hope you realize you deserve this person as much as they deserve you.

xx

mamajbirdy

Family & Baby

pros & cons of moving from your hometown to a new state


^^ Sweet home Chicago 

A long, long time ago…just kidding, just like three years back really 🙂 I moved away from the only home I ever knew, sweet home Chicago, 800ish miles away to the East Coast (first VA & now I’m somewhat nestled in PA).

When I think about these experiences, it brings out a lot emotions in me, some good and some bad. I wanted to share some of the pros and the cons I have felt and dealt  with these past few years. For those of you who may be deciding to leave the only home you’ve ever known.  Or maybe you’re just moving a little further away.  It is by no means an easy decision. Moving away from family and friends is hard no matter what the circumstances are. Whatever the case may be, here’s what I have taken away from this experience thus far and I hope maybe it will help you in your thought process.

Also, please keep in mind I moved away while I was 7 months pregnant, so being a new mom in a new state was very hard and altered my experience in many ways!

(Let’s start with the positives, shall we, since they say it’s good to look on bright side)

pros of moving to another state:

  • New experiences everywhere: probably my favorite part about this whole journey was when we moved into this amazing area called Arlington that was just a few miles from D.C. In fact, when my brother came to visit, he rode his bike to see the White House. Getting out and experiencing new places, new bites to eat, new sites, new opportunities were around every corner and every street. Now we live near farms and I get to experience a whole new scene: picking my own apples, blueberries, abundance of farmer’s markets (my fav), and all kinds of antique stores.
  • You have a chance at a fresh new start: when I left Chicago, it felt like I could leave all the baggage behind and start new. I wasn’t the same person I was in college anymore, so any drama or unhappy moments just kind of disappeared. Any mistakes that I had made just didn’t seem to follow me around as much anymore. I was able to start fresh, to find a new identity, maybe even try out a new name. I totally did that one year at summer camp in middle school. I tried out Jessie and it totally didn’t fit/work for me, not to mention I never answered to it.
  • You get to truly focus on you: you’ve been giving the tools you needed to succeed, and now it’s time to get out there and do something for yourself. You get to chose your own path, your own happiness, your future. Whether that is moving away to be with a special someone, or taking an amazing job opportunity, you do what you need to for yourself. It goes in line with one of my favorite quotes, “there are two gifts we should give our children, one is roots, the other is wings”. We will always know exactly where our home and our roots are, but we also need to have the courage and strength to leave them to explore new ground. No one will ever take away your home, because it’s more than simply a location or a pin on a map, it’s in your heart and in your mind. Moving to another state takes courage and energy, but you will be rewarded with strength and growth. Are you tired of the same scene? Are you tired of feeling like there is more out there? Maybe it’s time to explore something else.

cons of moving to another state:

  • I have not been able to “replace” my friends: I hate using the word replace, because of course, I can never replace the friends I have back in Chicago, they are pretty amazing and I would never ever want to in a million years, but mostly I have to yet to find friendships similar to them here. Like deep rooted friends, those you’d call in the middle of the night in tears, those friends for me are still 800 miles away. I’m still looking for a group I can feel a part of here, and sadly, I haven’t quite found it yet. Friends here and there, but nothing as substantial and deep as I had back home. But I’m happy doing my own things lately and exploring little bits and pieces of me in ways I haven’t before. Some part of me thinks I haven’t made as many friends as I would have hoped because I won’t let myself, (enter some type of fear here, maybe moving on?) or maybe because I found all my close friends during college and we had the time, energy, and cash from our shift to head out after work and blow it all on drinks at bars, come to work the next morning hungover and maybe even throw up in the back bathroom at work in between taking tables (say whaaaat, that never happened). What they say is true, you really do find your forever friends in college, before you “adult” and have children. You get to be stupid, fun, and make a million memories. Most days I think that my lack of opening up to meet friends is true, but most days, I’m like, I’m a mama, I’m tired. You want to grab a drink at 9 pm? Are you joking? Netflix & bed, mmmkay? Maybe I’m just looking for a girlfriend who wants to lay in bed and drink Merlot with me and chat about the good and the ugly of motherhood. If that sounds like you, come on over. Only if you bring wine of course.
  • Holidays suck: the first are the worst, and then it goes like this, I’ll definitely be home this year for Christmas, but then something comes up and money is tight and you just can’t. And then you say, well I will DEFINITELY be home for next Christmas, and then it rolls around again and you didn’t make it. And it’s a real bummer. Holiday’s are a time to really bond and spend time with the people you love the most, so of course it’s a sting of sadness when everyone you love isn’t near. It’s so easy to think you’ll be back for everything and won’t miss anything, but then weddings and baby showers go by, and you only have so much money in your budget that you have to pick and chose. In 2016, I lost two of my closest friends in a one month span. Oh my heart. I flew back for both funerals. I feel a lot of regret moving in hindsight, knowing I could have had more time. But that is just how life works, right?

Overall, the ride has had a lot of ups and downs, but with time, the sting of being homesick goes away more and more. Of course I still have my days where I sulk around thinking about all my friends and family, but I’m truly blessed to have a new experience. I’d like to head back to Chicago one of these days, but for now I’m trying to find in this new adventure.

xo

Mamajbirdy